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Comment Wall


Welcome to my comment wall! Click here to learn about how the goddess of time, nature, and death was created.

Comments

  1. Hi Rachel! First off, I love the homepage. That image of Kali you have selected is excellent and I think it really sets the stage for the rest of the project. Speaking of...I love this idea. Doing a deep dive into the origin stories of Kali is such a fantastic idea! What drew you to her? Was there any specific aspect of Kali that you found most interesting or that made you want to explore her more thoroughly? I also love the idea of the quiz! That is just too much fun. Where did you come up with this idea? Were you a fan of choose your own adventure books as a kid? I will definitely have to come back here again to check your progress and to take in the final product. Oh, one other thing; I like how you have different formatting on the pages from the homepage to the introduction. My main suggestion would be to add an Author's Note explaining a bit about your thought process behind this idea and project. Beyond that though, this is just too much fun!

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  2. I absolutely love the idea of a quiz to decide which story will fit best and that we should read. That is an amazing idea and look forward to where the quiz will end up putting me. The image that you chose for Kali is amazing, it is so in your face and attention grabbing that you cannot help but to read on to find out what her story is. The best stories have moral conundrums where there is not truly a good and bad side. The best villain is the protagonist of another story. Kali sounds fierce and amazing and all I know about her is what I read from the introduction. I am really curious to see what she is like and get a real sense for what kind of goddess she truly is. You mentioned that each story is going to have a moral dilemma, are you going to make it so the reader decides and continues the story from there, because that might be a fun direction to take it.

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  3. Hi Rachel!
    The image and the quiz is such a creative way to engage the readers. I like how the stories will represent a different version of Kali each time. I can see how the quiz would be an interactive way for the readers to decide which story they want to read. The introduction image was very colorful and definitely sparked my interest to read more! I actually had a quick question about your Comment Wall image. Do Kali eyes signify something? If possible, you could add a couple of sentences explaining Kali’s eyes! In addition, I was wondering if each story would be continuous with the next? You stated each story would be unique, but I was unsure if the stories would be their own discrete stories or if they would be connected. I can not wait to read more from you. These are just suggestions, and I hope I was of help!

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  4. Hi Rachel!
    I love the unique concept of the quiz you have. That instantly makes your story more exciting because it is interactive! I’m curious to see how your stories play out! I don’t really remember Kali in the Ramayana or Mahabharata. If she is in either story, it might be helpful for the reader to contextualize her character if you mention where in these stories she appears. Are the 3 different origin stories going to be your stories? I like the picture you have of Kali. It is quite terrifying and definitely makes me interested in what she is! I wonder if the different origin stories depict her differently. If so, it might be interesting to include the three different pictures of what she looks like in different traditions. On the home page, when I have your website in full screen, I can’t see much of Kali. I can only see the full image if I have the window smaller. Maybe a different format would allow me to see the full picture when I have the website in a larger tab.

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  5. Hi Rachel,
    Your intro for Kali is so fun and unique! I think its a great idea to not just expand on a character but to focus on a single event like the creation story and write it in different ways. I think you did a great job of explaining that the duality of her personality is why you were writing the three interpretations of her creation. I also think that the quiz is such a great add on to your story. It really personalizes the readers experience so they can get to the story that would interest them the most without having to read all of them if they didn't want to. I don't know much about Kali so I am excited to read you storybook and learn some information about her. I love that you started off by listing all of the titles she carries and spoke of controversy. Great job of introducing Kali !

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  6. Hello Rachel!

    Kali seems like a really interesting character to focus your project on! I'm excited to read their creation stories! The picture you use in your introduction is very intimidating! does the necklace of human heads or the skirt of human arms originate in one of their creation stories? You mentioned that she embodies duality which I find really interesting. I'm interested to see how that plays out in the stories you will tell us. The Aztecs have a similar god, Ometeotl, which I read about for my project so I'm curious to see if there are any similarities between the two. I also really like the idea of the quiz to determine which story to begin with, it's very creative! Good luck writing your stories!

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  7. Hi Rachel,

    I absolutely love Kali. You've made a great choice for your project. She's so infinitely complex and fascinating, and someone we could all use in the world right now. Can't wait to go through your different journeys! I, too, have tried to create a personal experience with my storybook, so it's awesome to see another student do the same. I love the idea of taking a quiz to tell you which journey to take. Sounds like a lot of fun.
    Your introduction is intriguing and well-worded. You've done a great job. It sounds interesting, flows well, and clearly explains what your project will be while keeping some mystery around the exact experience. Experiencing different creation stories through different perspectives of Kali sounds like a unique and fulfilling experience. Can't wait to see what you come up with.
    Best of luck. I'll definitely be bookmarking your project to come back to it.
    - Cate

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  8. Hi Rachel!
    I am taking a class on Hinduism this semester so your project immediately caught my eye. We even just read an origin story of Kali in comic book form a couple weeks ago. I loved how you described Kali's place as a goddess in your introduction and represented different views of her. I also love the idea of telling the stories from Kali's perspective and it raises a whole lot of questions about what a goddess just innately knows and doesn't know and I think you did a great job of dealing with the grey area in that. I'm curious to see how Kali appears differently in your other stories compared to the first one. In this story Kali seems very victory driven and somewhat unsure of what she can and can't do and I think it would be really interesting for her to be more omniscient and sadistic. I think you've done great work so far and can't wait to see how your project continues to develop.

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  9. Hi Rachel

    Wow, I was really impressed with your writing abilities - aside from a few fairly minor grammatical things, this was extremely well-worded and cohesive. Going into this, I knew absolutely nothing about Kali (or about Hindu mythology in general, really), so it was really fascinating to get to read about her origin story. I think you do a great job of retelling the story, your website is structured nicely, and your narrative voice is strong. I'm also really interested in the quiz you're going to make - that seems like such a fun way to get readers interested in the story! Probably my main critique, though, is with the rest of the introduction. It's fairly informative, but I would have liked just a little bit more of that strong voice from the story to come through here, too. You might expand a bit on the first part of your introduction, where the language and structure is really eye-catching, before going into the straight exposition. Good luck!

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    Replies
    1. Oh, quick addition - I love your title! So clever!

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  10. Hi Rachel!
    I really like the picture on your home page but it looks as if the thing's (I'm assuming it is Kali) head is cut off. You might want to edit it so that the whole picture is shown in the banner. Your intro is great and really gave me a sense of who Kali is in the Indian epics and what she is known for. I also think it is so cool that you are going to incorporate a quiz into the intro so that the people reading your storybook will get taken to the story that will be most interesting to them. That is just really cool and creative and I might have to implement something like that into my storybook. Your first story was awesome. It is really cool how Kali figures out how to defeat the monsters without spilling their blood. Though, eating thousands of monsters does not seem like fun. I think this is a great story to start out with and I really enjoyed reading it.

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  11. Hey Rachel! I really liked your intro. It really help explain Kali a lot to me, especially since I really don't know much about her. It was really well written and really pulled me in. I also really liked the idea you had about having a quiz for people to see what Point of View they'll be reading from. I think that'll be really great once you have all the stories and create it!

    I also liked the original story. It was cool to get to read it from her point of view and see what was going on in her head. I also liked how you started with her being created and then went from there. The ending was really powerful as well. Your authors note also really helped me understand what you were trying to write and also why the ending was the way it was, making it more powerful. You did an absolutely incredible job with the first story and I can't wait to see what other stories you come up with.

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  12. Hi Rachel! This is a really great start to your storybook project. The first thing that caught my attention was the name of your website and storybook: The Birth of Death. I knew when I read this that you were going to be writing about something really interesting. I also noticed all of the amazing images that you chose for your website. They are all so interesting and colorful.

    I like how your introduction is spaced out. It made be have to scroll down and see the entire picture that was to the left of it. The writing in the introduction seemed very bold and dramatic to me, which definitely made me want to read more.

    Your first story does a great job of throwing the reader right into that action of what is happening. I really like this because sometimes I can two caught up in trying to understand story expositions, that I forget to be entertained by what’s happening. Nice job!

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  13. Hey Rachel! I just finished reading through your introduction and your first story, and I think you're off to a really good start. I loved how you give us a glimpse of your protagonist in the introduction without giving away too much. That's a great way of drawing your reader into your story. I also thought you were very descriptive in your first story. Not only was I able to get a better look at Kali's personality, but you also conveyed how powerful of a person she is really well. I could practically paint a picture of the fight scene in my head. I like the idea of you presenting your stories in the form of a quiz, but it might be worthwhile to update it with your first story. Once this storybook is done though, I bet it's going to look great! Looking forward to reading more of your stories this semester.

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  14. Hey Rachel! I think your storybook looks really great so far! I like your ideas and how you have the page laid out. It's easy to read and the pictures are very fitting. One thing I would suggest editing would be the titles at the top of the page that take the readers to the different stories. I think it would be cool if you had names that described each of the stories in just one or two words, that way readers knew which story they were about to read. I agree with Sam above, I really like how you described Kali in the introduction because it shows her personality and gives readers a hint at what she will be like throughout the story. Overall, I really enjoyed reading all of your stories and introduction and I can't wait to keep up for the rest of the semester! Great job!

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  15. Wow, the image you chose for your first story is beautiful and eerie. Her skirt made from hands is very clear and eye catching. The fact that she is standing on her own tongue catching blood is subtle and creepy, and it pairs perfectly with the story. I liked how she was reluctant to accept their mission and only did it in order to do the impossible. I thought the ending showed her motives perfectly, for she completed the task and left, she needed no praise or appreciation. I got a sense of sorrow from the last line. It was very short and to the point, she was alone, and she had one. It sounded almost like a hollow victory, but maybe that is happiness for her. I was a little bit confused by how the room abruptly disappeared when she was talking to the people. Did she fall down to earth, did it all just fade away like a dream, or what exactly happened?

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  16. Hi Rachel! I really enjoyed reading through your Storybook for this class. I think the images you chose to use on each page are all really vibrant and give the pages a look-at-me sort of sense; they are so tastefully colorful that the pages demand that the person going through your site stops and admires what you have written and put together there. Also, I think your introduction is really good. You give a lot of good, important context about Kali, which helps the reader frame the stories in their mind so that they are not confused about anything. Also, I think "The Birth of Death" is a really clever title. Your first story, "Birth of the Victor," was told with a really strong first-person voice, which really helped you get inside Kali's head and see the thoughts concerning the events of the story. Also, I think that the pacing of the story was really good, and it helped the reader stay engaged throughout the story.

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  17. Hello again!

    Your first story was amazing! I like how you put it in the first person. It really allows the readers to get immersed in whats going on with Kali. I know you said this was something you yourself changed from the original story and I think you did it very well. I was really surprised when I read that she swallowed the demons whole. I was not expecting that, but that is certainly ambitious way to defeat your enemies. I really enjoyed all the action that was going on in this story. The writing is very vivid too so it makes it easy to picture everything that is going on. The final battle was a lot shorter than I anticipated, but I suppose that also showcases her superiority to the other gods. How she left before they congratulated her was really ominous too, I'm excited to read what happens next! Great job!

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  18. Hello Rachel!

    I was so excited to read your story! I come from a Hindu family, so I already knew who Kali was before reading, which made it even more interesting to read! I think you did a really amazing job of characterizing Kali. Putting the story in first person was such a great idea and you executed it very well. It really adds a great perspective when villians or evil creatures share their thoughts with the reader. One of my favorite books is a book called Grendel, where the monster in Beowulf is actually the narrator; I saw a similar thing done here. I thought the way you paced the story was also very good. The only thing I would say is that I thought your images were a little bit distracting to the rest of the storybook, but that is also a personal opinion and I saw that other commenters really liked the image. I can't wait to read what you write next!

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  19. Hello,
    I love the pictures you used in your blog. I feel like they fit really well with the central theme. I have to be honest I didn’t know much about Kali going into your storybook. Coming away from it however after reading the introduction and story I know quite a bit more! I have definetly seen various pictures of kali in the past but never really read that many stories about her. As for your story I found it quite interesting. I had to look up who Durga was to make sense of how Kali was created. I think you did a great job in telling this story. I found it intense when Kali just ate all of the demons in one go. It was also interesting to learn that Kali defeats Raktabija through drinking his blood. Also the fact that she was created to defeat someone even the gods couldn’t makes her on a whole other level.

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  20. Hey Rachel,

    I like how you are portraying your theme for the storybook project. In the intro, I saw that you are going to incorporate a quiz, which I think is a brilliant and unique touch to your storybook. Moreover, in your introduction, you wrote a place marker for the titles of your stories. I want to mention that since you have uploaded your first story, you can replace the place marker with the title.

    In regards to your first story, your image does a great job in portraying the overall theme of that rendition. Since you have incorporated a lot of dialogue, a suggestion you may want to consider is using action beat dialogues as opposed to the traditional talk dialogues. Especially since your first story is filled with action, the action beat dialogues will help elevate your story to the next level.

    Overall, great job! I look forward to reading more stories written by you.

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  21. Hello Rachel,
    The theme of your storybook is so cool. It is unique and a cool concept to read. The cool part that stood out to me was the quiz. It is such a cool feature to have in a storybook and it definitely made your storybook memorable. This week is more of a focus on the author's notes of your stories. Author's notes are hard for me sometimes as I always want to go on my own stories, but I know that I need to stay with the original story that I started my story with. Your author's note give me a great platform to know what to look for in the story and what came from the original and how it was tweaked in your rendition. I do like how for your story that you changed the perspective rather than details. Stories from different perspectives always give it life and a new meaning which is always enjoyable.

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  22. Already, I am absolutely captivated by the theme of your project! The intro completely sold me on your storybook about this goddess with many titles! Stories inspired by such a complex character can go in so many directions since they're so dynamic! "In the classic story of good versus evil, she is neither and both-" wow, I'm intrigued. How you've interpreted her duality and incorporated that into the stories that involve a setting that provides similar dichotomous conflicts (physical/mental) is so cool and I'm interested in seeing how this plays out in each individual chapter. Also, I'm definitely going to come back when your quiz is completed- an addition like this goes above and beyond! Also, I forgot to say but the images you've chosen of Kali encapsulate perfectly the sort of expressive and in-charge character she seems to be! As for your first story, it's extremely well-written! Neither the dialogue nor the descriptions overshadow the other too heavily. You really have a way with storytelling! Though you didn't deviate from the original too much, with your word choices you really made the story your own. I wonder if you considered trying to customize the title in the link where it reads "Story 1"? I understand you may be doing this for organizations sake but to give it a unique name to go with "Birth of the Victor"- maybe simply "Birth"(?) would be enough! Something to think about!

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  23. Hi Rachel!
    I like that your layout is easy to navigate, although it would like more of a title to the tab instead of Story 1. It makes it harder to go back and know the right tab was chosen. The idea of a quiz is a fun idea! I'm looking forward to see how it turns out. I think Story 1 was neat to see Kali's origins. How did she know she was a goddess if she was just made? I think the Authors note was good in that it explained the choices you made story line wise, but the parts you had to fill in, was their certain reasons you made the choices you did? I can definitely understand her hunt for autonomy. This was a fun read.

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  24. Hi Rachel!

    I read your intro for your storybook, and I really liked it. I think you set up the rest of your storybook really well, and I see a lot of potential into what you're doing. I know nothing about the goddess you are writing about, so you have the opportunity to teach a lot of people something really cool. The way you started your introduction was really good. Listing titles is something I have seen in fiction novels elsewhere, and I really like it. It's a way to grab your readers, and make them interested, so I think that is really cool! I'm really excited to read more of your stories, and I hope I get to learn where these titles come from.

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  25. Hi Rachel!

    I really enjoyed reading your project. I really liked your introduction page. That picture of Kali that you use is absolutely terrifying. I think you do a great job of making an interesting introduction. It is a great start to your project. It is interesting and it makes me want to keep going. I think the having readers take a quiz to see what creation story they get is brilliant. I wish I had thought of that.

    I think your author's notes to a good job of filling in the blanks for the reader. You do a good job of telling us about the original story, and then telling us what you did differently. Which version of the creation story did you enjoy writing more, story 1 or story 2? I think its really cool how well you have adapted these stories into the first person point of view.

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  26. Hi Rachel!

    I just read through your storybook and I just want to say that I really enjoyed reading through it! I'm also a little biased on that because I have read and heard stories about Kali before I did enjoy reading how you wrote about her. I really liked that you wrote in the first person point-of-view. That really helps the reader get to know the thoughts and feelings of Kali. I also really like how you kept the stories as close to the original version. I think the images you have used throughout your storybook are very nice! One thing I noticed was in your introduction that you have space for where you were going to put link to the stories you were going to add. I think you could go and update that now since you have two stories up. Overall, I really enjoyed reading through your storybook! I can't wait to come back and read another story!

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  27. Hi Rachel! At the bottom of your introduction, you say you will put in links when you write these stories, but you already do that with the tabs at the top of the screen. I would delete that. First off, I loved how you made Kali angry at her purpose to stop an enemy, especially when her creators deserted her. It made Kali have a fulfilling thought process to do what they say to prove that she is better than they are, whether than to blindly accept what others say she is. The way Kali just disappeared when her creator wanted to "congratulate" her was also nice. In your second story, Kali was supposed to have Parvati's memories but was she supposed to be the same. Did the poisen, loss of memory, or both change Parvati to Kali? If Parvati's nature would shift, does that mean that her nature as Parvati "die" so Kali's nature could be "born." Or is the core nature of Parvati and Kali the same, with only extra powers and no memory that makes Kali different. I wonder how Shiva felt when Parvati became Kali. Does Shiva consider his wife dead, then? Does he grieve or what?

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  28. Hey Rachel! I have not visited your project yet, and I was excited to get the chance to read your project and learn about Kali. I read through your whole storybook since I had not visited your site yet, and I've got a few notes from each story.
    In your introduction, I noticed that you still have lines such as "story one that I haven't written yet". It's really easy to forget that you have something like that on your intro and I just wanted to make sure you were aware of it. Otherwise, I really liked the content in the intro. It made me interested in hearing more about Kali. One thing that also caught me off guard was switching from third person to first person. I wonder if it would be a smoother transition if you noted that you were going to do that?
    This week Professor Gibbs asked us to focus on paragraphs. However, I think that you've already done a magnificent job of keeping your paragraph length reasonable. With the amount of dialogue you've included, the breaks occur naturally and maintain a good flow.
    I really enjoyed reading your storybook!

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  29. Hey Rachel! Kali is such a fascinating character, I'm so glad you discovered her and decided to build your Storybook based on her!

    With the class wrapping up, I think that your idea of having a quiz to match the reader is really good, but if you don't have time to make it happen, don't forget to take it down. I really like the images you have, and how they're really large and start each page off. Your second story in particular I found really interesting, because I wrote about the poison halahala as well--maybe the origin of it is something you could put in your Author's note, to give the reader some background with it. In general, I think a little more depth in your Author's Note would add to the storybook overall--your stories are already fantastic and flow so well! And the Author's Note gives you a good chance to show off all the research and extra knowledge you've accumulated about your stories. Overall, a really fun read, and you did a great job of making me intrigued about Kali!

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  30. Hi Rachel! This is my first time going through your storybook page and I am very impressed by your entire project! When first visiting your page I really liked the image you chose. I also think your title for each page really stood out and looked very neat. Your page was also very easy to navigate through and the whole story book looked very professional. I like the way you wrote your intro because it gave a clear idea as to what your story book was going to be about but also gave background information for the character you were focusing on. I did not know much about Kali before your story book project, so it was really cool to get to learn about her character. I think it is cool to focus on one character and go through different stories with them. As for each of your stories, I thought they were all entertaining and well written. Great job!

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